Seriously, You Can't Make This Shit Up . . .

Um, so after all that, Chad has given me the fade!

I just want it to be noted for the record that I had contemplated giving him the fade first, but talked myself into being a better person and going out with him again instead.

And how does this mother fluffer thank me? By giving me the fade! Typical male behavior.

P.S. If you don't know what "the fade" is (you're either way too nice or way too lucky to have never found yourself on the receiving end of the fade . . . either way, I hate you), it's when you embrace your lack of balls and just ignore a person you've dated, rather than tell them straight-out that you are not interested. You just "fade away" like a phantom or the New Kids on the Block. (And sometimes, like NKOTB, you might return after giving someone the fade. The only difference is, you would return to try to have sex with your ex again, not to sing some cheesy pop song about a summer fling.)